The first thing that I thought about when I started working on this article was the title, first I thought of it as a question and then it became a statement.
I realized that this writing was made of my own need to answer the question “how to survive and thrive in a decaying system?”
Whenever someone asks me why I don't do sketches, why I don't think about a clear project, why I don't define what I'm going to do before doing it, my answer is because so much intentionality, so much looking for meaning destroys the creative experience for me.
About seven or eight years ago, I was interviewed by a friend for a magazine. We met at my house to have a tea and chat for three or four hours while our conversation was recorded.
I don't know with what divine patience she managed to make sense to my three-hour rambling, she decided to lead the interview with this iconic quote from Walt Whitman. Months later, when I read the interview, I realised how much she really knew me, because I had never felt so seen in a few words.
I used to be a workaholic, it was something I was very proud of. I defended and justified my addiction daily.Over time I realized how wrong I was to reduce my self worth to my expectations on my productive capacities, I reached a point where my love for creation and the healing qualities it had for me all my life disappeared and they were replaced by heaviness, apathy and rejection.